To be honest, I’m sitting here on my computer not really sure what to write. How do you capture something in words, that must be experienced to fully comprehend. How do you simply “reflect” on an event with out being explicitly told how?
Do you write it as a story? I woke up that day feeling tired like most mornings yet this one was different. The work I had spent over the last month would finally be showcased. I was giddy, but with excitement also comes nervousness. I was confident in my speech, I had spent hours on my learning centre, and even more importantly, I loved who I had chosen for my Eminent person. So while I didn’t have any foreseeable problems, I was afraid that it wouldn’t be enough. Like always, my perfectionist tendencies were putting me on edge. I had to tell myself I would be fine, just fine. The day went slower then molasses. Every minute felt like hours and every hour felt like days. After what felt longer than an eternity, the night had finally came. Starting with the school bell to end the day, the ‘molasses’ turned to quick sand and time was moving faster then I felt it should. I scrambled organizing my equipment and rushed to put together my learning centre. Faster then you could say “Eminent”, the Grade Tens were gathered back stage waiting to perform our speeches. For a solid hour, my nerves grabbed hold of me and wouldn’t let go until I realized who I was performing for. In the audience were students, teachers, and parents wishing for our success. These were people taking time out of their lives to watch me. There weren’t any of insecure teenage boys who loved to feed on my failures in Middle School. There weren’t teachers watching just so they could tear me apart. Everyone was here for me. To celebrate me. And with that thought in the back of my head, I soared on stage, giving the audience all the emotion I had, summoning my inner Craig Kielburger. I remember so clearly the applause. Then running to our stations. The night passed with me talking to some of the nicest people I may ever meet in my life. It all ended with photos, thanks, and goodbyes…an appropriate ending to an awesome night. For one night trying hard and being passionate was… cool. That Night of the Notables was ours, and it always will be something I hold dear.
Do I write a poem about it?
The night was a blur
We shined like stars in the sky
It can’t be described
Or do I keep it within my heart and lock the memories away for when I need them most. For when I’ve spent the weekend playing my heart out at the pool for over 21 hours, swam over 40 kilometres, and have at least 5 new scars on my battered body…and its 10:30 on a Sunday night and I am dreading school more then death.
Maybe this memory, this glimmer at what school could be will get me out of bed tomorrow morning.
Maybe this sliver of hope that people will recognize how hard I’m working will take me downstairs to start my day.
Maybe, just maybe, this reflection will have an actual affect on my life.
Or maybe not.
Maybe no one will ever read this reflection or any others.
If you have gotten this far I thank you for reading my thoughts and feelings.